A complicated correspondence
by FrostyShadows
Summary: As a prank, Lavi, pretending to be Kanda, writes a letter to Allen professing his undying love. This starts a correspondence between Kanda and Allen full of complications, misunderstandings, swordfights and, finally,romance? Yullen.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my first Yullen fanfiction! Hope you like it~**

**Disclaimer: I do not own D. Gray-Man or Grenade by Bruno Mars. ****And no, this is not a songfic.**

**1. Lavi (pretending to be Kanda) to Allen**

Allen was eating, as usual, when the creamy white envelope slid in under his door, not knowing it was put there by Lavi, that devilish rabbit. He picked it up opened it. The first line of the letter read,

_My sweetest moyashi,_

The Exorcist's eyes widened in surprise. Only that bakanda ever called him "moyashi", but the resident humourless samurai would never use the word "sweetest" with it…would he? Allen threw open his door and happened to see Kanda passing by. He blushed uncertainly before asking,"Hey, Bakanda, is there any chance you secretly think I'm sweet?"

The Asian turned bright red and glared at him for a while before saying, "Che, what the –bleep-'s wrong with you today, you puny moyashi?

Allen shrugged and went back to the letter. Guess that was a no. But he was pretty sure that Kanda was the culprit here…

_There is a secret I've buried deep in my hear__t_, _that I've always been afraid to tell you. But I can't deny my love for you any longer. _

The white-haired teenager choked on his chicken drumstick. Kanda and love didn't seem to belong in the same text.

_Every day I __have to live without you by my side, the longing in my heart gets a bit bigger. I can't stand this feeling any longer. I know I'm not good with lovey dovey things_, _so I wrote a poem for you to show you my innermost thoughts about you: _

_Roses are red,_

_Violets are blue,_

_Every time I see them,_

_I think about you._

Allen tried to imagine the samurai sitting at his desk writing that incredibly sappy poem, a feather pen in his hand instead of the sword that was often pointed at him and Lavi. Allen felt like either laughing or puking.

_From the moment I saw you__, when you were bravely fighting me because I was trying to chop you up, I knew that that we were meant to be._ _Did you know that your eyes are the colour of a falling star? One glance at them made me weak, which is the main reason I was unable to chop you up into little pieces the day we first met. You took my heart and breath away on that day._

_I know I haven't been the best at showing my affections for you_, _and for that I am truly sorry. I know you probably don't feel the same about me_. _If that is the case, let's forget this ever happened. I won't force you to love me. _

_But please understand that I'd catch a grenade for ya, throw my head on a blade for ya. I'd jump in front of a train for ya, you know I'll do anything for ya._ _I'll even cut off my super long gay-looking hair for ya. But again I'd rather not. _

Allen blinked in confusion. He didn't believe that for a second. Last time Lavi called the Asian's hair "gay", he ended up in the hospital ward. But…since Kanda was writing a love letter to Allen, didn't that mean he was admitting to his gayness? So that meant his hair was automatically gay too right?

_I hope you can understand that my heart pounds faster when you are near_. _You're the first person ever since Alma Karma died that I felt like I had a connection to._

_By the way, you're the second sexiest person I've ever met. The first being Lavi because he's cool and sexy like that._ _But it's okay, I love you more._

_ Please tell me if you and Lenalee are already an item. I'll understand. I promise not to drug her, then chop her to pieces with my super-sharp Mugen if that's the case. Although I think I should mention that she only shampoos her hair once and doesn't leave her conditioner in long enough, while I shampoo three times. My hair's also two inches longer than hers ever was. So if you're gonna judge us by our hair, I'm the best choice. Oh, and you should also keep Komui's sister-complex in mind, because if you ever make out with Lenalee you will probably suffer a painful torture at the hands of one of the Komurins. But if you really love Lenalee more than me, I won't mind. Really._

_From, your secret admirer._

_Hint: I enjoy threatening people with my very sharp samurai/ninja sword, I have creepishly long gay-looking hair that's always in a ponytail and I enjoying saying "che." Oh, and my name rhymes with Panda._

Allen stared at the sheet of paper blankly for a while before shaking his head in confusion. Just then, Lavi popped in.

"Hey Allen!"

Allen whipped around, "Did you write this?"

"Lemme see." Lavi snatched the letter out of his hands, feigning oblivion, "Whoa, damn! I knew Yuu had the hots for you!"

"No, seriously? He hates me! Prove that you didn't write this."

Lavi widened his eyes innocently, "I would never pull such a cruel prank like this. Besides, this is totally Yuu's writing."

"I thought Bookmen can easily forge people's writings." Allen crossed his arms.

"Nope, just 'cause I write a lot doesn't mean my writing's neat. And I hardly ever call you moyashi. Besides, if I wanted to prank you I would never write "Lavi is the sexiest person alive here", since that would make it way too obvious. Although that's true. But still. And lastly, I would never compare him with a panda. That's reserved for Bookman."

"So…you think Kanda really feels this way?" A faint, hopeful blush spread across Allen's cheeks.

"Of course! You should give him a reply. You'll make an adorable couple."

"I…don't know…"

But Allen pulled out a pen anyway and started his letter to Kanda.

**Well, that's it for now. ****I added the convo between Allen and Lavi because even though Allen can be incredibly gullible in a cute way at times, he'll probably need some convincing before believing that Kanda loves him.**

**Tell me what you think! Reviews are awesome :D**

**~Frostyshadows~**


	2. Chapter 2

** I'm sad that it took me so long to write this T_T**

**Please go blame it on my teachers, who decided to pile homework on us, just in time for Chinese New Year when I'll have to eat lots and lots of dinners and procrastinate on homework. **

**Did I mention that Tyki Mikk is very sexy? No? Well he is.**

**2. Allen to Kanda**** (watch the one-sided sparks fly!)**

Allen nervously shuffled from foot to foot in front of Kanda's door, still uncertain of whether or not he should slide the letter under the door. There was a very big chance that Kanda hadn't written the letter. And besides, the whole pen-pal-ish affair was pretty ridiculous since they technically lived under the same roof.

Finally, he took a deep breath and did it before he could chicken out. Then he ran away as fast as he could without being too loud. The Exorcist heard Kanda whip the door open just as he skidded around the corner.

"What the *bleep* is wrong with people these days? Che." Kanda muttered and angrily slammed the door shut when he couldn't see anyone. He considered tossing the piece of paper in the trash, but hell, he might as well read it.

_Dear Bakanda,_

_ I can't describe how shocked I am that you have a secret crush on me. _

A WTF expression came over Kanda's face. Were his feelings that *bleep*ing obvious that even Moyashi could tell? No. That wasn't possible. Moyashi was too stupid.

_I'm so glad you finally admitted it, because I think I may feel the same way about you. Every time you swish your sexy ponytail, my heart skips a beat. I would never ask you to cut it, nor would I want you to jump in front of a train for me. The thought alone is enough, since until receiving your letter I assumed that you would gladly push me in front of the train and take sadistic pleasure in seeing me fly apart in bloody pieces.  
_

Letter? Kanda would never send a disgusting sappy love letter to Moyashi, even if he did have feelings for him. The whole idea was just so…disgusting and sappy. And he worked quite hard to make Moyashi believe the pushing-in-front-of-a-train thing. Some baka piece of "bleep" just had to ruin his whole cold evil samurai warrior image. AND NO ONE WAS ALLOWED TO COMMENT ON HIS HAIR. OR BAD BAD THINGS WOULD HAPPEN TO THEM.

_Okay, guess I'm getting off topic here.__ I'm just surprised that, after all the times you've threatened and attempted to murder me, you secretly love me. I had a nice daydream the other day. A picnic, just the two of us, beside a scenic pond. We can go in a horse-drawn carriage. That's so romantic, don't you think? _

Whoa, hold on a minute here. He knew that the Moyashi was way too *bleep*ing cheerful, but he didn't realize he was a *bleep*ing hopelessly romantic sap either. And besides, he doubted two horses could handle the weight of Allen's lunch. Kanda didn't want to go on a date. He had no intention of having a relationship, since Exorcists rarely lived long and it was a lot of unnecessary pain for the still-alive one of the couple.

_Then, when night comes, we can have a candlelight dinner with fancy win__e glasses and everything. I know this great seafood buffet place where we can have our own little room. They have the best creamy crab puffs there!_

"Che." Leave it to him to rant about food in a love letter.

_I just want to tell you that I've always thought of you as a friend, but now I think it might be something more.__ The part that touched me the most was your beautiful sappy poem. It really made my day. I love the image of my sweet little Bakanda writing that, and wish I saw that side of you more often._

_I know I can't say I understand what you went through with Alma, but I think I can relate, having lost the one person I ever cared about until I joined the Black Order. I think that you built a barrier against the rest of the world when Alma died, and I'm hoping I can help you get past it._

Awww, that was kinda sweet of Moyashi.

_I can't believe you ever thought I had a crush on Lenalee! Just because Komui's overly paranoid about his little sister's virginity doesn't mean everyone he suspects of fantasizing about her really does fantasize about her. I'd rather make out with you with your sexy long hair and hard abs than feel up her big fake-looking boobs. (By the way, do you think they're fake? I mean, she's not the type that would get boob surgery but they're so perfectly round it's suspicious…) But anyway, you're hotter than her. So don't be jealous. And no, I don't have a crush on her._

_Anyway, I hope you write back soon! _

_ Always your loving Moyashi,_

_ Allen Walker_

Kanda gave the letter a look of disdain. He wanted Allen to think he hated him, because there was no way he wanted to get involved with anyone again. Stupid baka who disguised him/herself as Kanda…Well, let's just say Kanda had better not find out who it was or someone will suffer a slow, agonizing, torturous bloody murder that would do those sadistic Noah Clan people proud.

He pulled out a sheet of paper and began a response.

** That's it for chapter two. ****I'm not as proud of it as my first…-sighs-…**

**But I swear it will get better. Because soon, I'll throw Komui's sister complex into this mess. –evil laughter- And a lot more Yullen. Reviewers are awesome.**

**~Frostyshadows~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, a thought that popped into my mind all of sudden**** while writing. This is unrelated to my fanfiction.**

**Lavi: Hey, Allen, ever wondered why Yuu always wear long loose robes around you?**

**Allen: I thought he always wears them. Goes with his weird, messed up foreign sense of style.**

**Lavi: Nope. He wears normal clothes every couple of weeks when you're not here.**

**Allen: So, why?**

**Lavi: He gets a boner whenever he gets within a hundred-foot radius of you.**

**Allen: -speechless-**

**Yes, the thoughts that pop into my head while writing Yullen are rather random and creepy. _**

**3. ****1 Kanda to Allen**

Kanda's, or Kanda's impersonator's, next letter came when Allen was hanging out with Lavi. He saw it when he went back to his room before dinner and despite himself, his heart gave a little leap of anticipation.

_Moyashi,_

_I don't know what the *bleep* is wrong with you when you sent me your ridiculous love letter. I am definitely NOT interested in you. As much as my hair may seem otherwise, I am very straight. Or at least straight enough to not like you, since I might have had a crush on Alma. HOWEVER, THAT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT SUBJECT THAT'S IRRELEVANT TO WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN US RIGHT NOW. Which is nothing. Seriously, what *bleep* were you on when you wrote that? _

_ Just to clear things up, I would never cut off my hair for you. Too much shampoo, conditioner, leave-in-conditioner, combs, brushes, hair straighteners, gel, mousse, hairspray, hair ties, expensive salon cuts have been invested in it to sacrifice for a stupid moyashi. _

Ouch. Allen cringed.

_It's nothing personal against you, really, although you are quite annoying and overly cheerful and you eat like a pig. It's just that I am not looking for a partner and the thought of getting laid with you brings chills down my spine in a bad way. So if I were ever to go on a date with you, it will not be at a restaurant. I prefer a day cruise to a romantic little island. The smell of the ocean fusing our love, gentle waves lapping against sandy beaches. NOT THAT I WANNA DO THAT WITH YOU OR ANYONE ELSE. _

_ And about Lenalee's boobs…I'm pretty sure they're real. Komui would never let his little sister add to her already above-average sexiness. _

_ Just to make it clear, I hate you._

_From, Kanda_

Allen sat back, a glazed look in his eyes. He suddenly didn't want to go to dinner anymore, which as I'm sure you know is a very very rare thing. There was no point in living anymore…his one true love hated him…he'll never get his happily ever after…he'll die alone…he'll be a 40-year-old virgin before that happens…Before he could finish his depressing chain of thoughts, another letter slid under his door. He looked at it warily before picking it up.

**3.2 ****Lavi(pretending to be Kanda) to Allen**

_Dear cutie Moyashi, _

_I'm so sorry I wrote that! I was so shocked and I have no idea how to react to your declaration of mutual love. Which I swear is mutual. I don't lie awake in bed laughing maniacally thinking up new ways to torture you, I swear. After all, I don't enjoy laughing whether it be maniacally or nicely. Although the first choice is slightly easier._

_Let's get this straight:I would love to get laid with you, even though it seems kinda creepy. I was scared to admit this at first, but I don't think I should keep secrets from you. And even though you're not as hot as Lavi, he's just not my type so let's not discuss that. I'm thinking we should build our relationship up from the mental level first. This may seem like a huge shock, but I'm secretly somewhat psychopathic and according to Komui I am socially challenged. Oh, and I have an unusually strong mental attachment to my sword. But I'm willing to put Mugen away for a short period of time for you, because although I can't be sure, I don't think making out is rathercomfortable with a sword hilt jabbing your face as we French kiss, which hopefully we will._

_ I hope to get my date on a beach with you someday. _

_ Awaiting your reply, Kanda._

"That asshole Bakanda, playing with my heart like that… *bleep* him." Allen fumed. He crumpled up both sheets and threw it into the corner. Then he picked it up and reread the part about the romantic vacation and getting laid, because he was secretly pleased by the second letter. Allen sighed miserably. Why couldn't he like a normal person, like Lenalee or Lou Fa?

Outside the door, crouched so that Allen wouldn't see him through the peephole, Lavi giggled. He turned around to leave and found his face mashed up against Komui's crotch.

"Um. Hi." The redhead said nervously, backing away and standing up at the same time.

Komui led him around the corner, "I know what you're doing, Lavi. And I'm assuming you don't want Kanda and Allen to find out?" The supervisor grinned evilly.

"No!" Lavi gasped. He imagined being sliced into a million tiny bloody pieces by Mugen, Allen shaking his head in hurt disappointment before dealing the final blow…

"Then you will do as I say." Komui's glasses glinted.

"Y-yes. Anything! Just don't tell Yuu."

"Well, as you know, I hate how Lenalee flirts with most of the male Exorcists without even noticing. I'm getting sick of having to threaten Allen every time he looks her way, so I'm hoping you'll write a threatening letter to them pretendin you're Lenalee's boyfriend."

Lavi's face lit up, "Ohmygawd, you're letting me date her?"

Komui's face turned an ominous dark colour and he suddenly seemed a lot taller, "No. Unless you want all my malfunctioning Komurins trying to murder you every second of your life, I advise against it. I meant make up a fake boyfriend and write a threat to Allen to keep his hands off my dear little sister. You're quite good at forging writings, although you kinda suck at the actual letter-writing. I mean, you really shouldn't mention your exaggerated sexiness since it's a pretty direct giveaway. And besides, Lenalee's sexier. I ALSO KNOW YOU'RE CURIOUS ABOUT HER BOOB SIZE, WHICH I WON'T IGNORE UNLESS YOU WRITE THAT LETTER."

Lavi felt himself shrinking, "Yes, supervisor! I'll even write one to Yuu since he might be bi or something."

Komui smiled sweetly, and one could almost pretend he was a perfectly normal supervisor, "Be sure you do that."

**Well, that's**** it so far.**

**If you like Yullen, review!**

**If you hate Yullen, review!**

**If you have no idea what Yullen is, review!**

**If you think Tyki Mikk is hot, review!**

**If you hate him and would like to murder him, review!**

**If you ****secretly would like to take over the world, review!**

**If ****you - Okay, I'll stop here and let you click the little review button below. ^_^**

**~Frostyshadows~**


	4. Chapter 4

**Finally, new chapter! Let's ****all go do the happy dance~**

**Disclaimer: In case you didn't know already, I do not own D. Gray-Man. **

**4.1. Allen to Kanda**

Kanda groaned when two more letters came. He was getting really annoyed by that persistent moyashi. He opened one at random and saw Moyashi's neat, careful writing.

_Bakanda,_

_I'm sick of all your mind games and I'm pretty sure you are too. I think we should call a truce. Let's forget this stupid letter thingy, get back to our usual petty arguing and pretend nothing has changed. I won't deny that I might have a crush on you, but I think I will get over it. I hope we won't get all awkward with each other because of this. If you really want a relationship, I'll be more than willing. But I understand that you probably won't and I won't press the matter. Just please stop playing with my heart._

_Bye for now, Allen_

Kanda felt surprisingly sad that Allen didn't pursue his love anymore. He was finally starting to see that he might actually like Moyashi, but it was too late now. Oh well. Kanda felt that he should be used to having the very few people he cared about taken away just before he could muster the courage to express his feelings, because that kept on happening in his *bleep*ed up life.

**4.2. Lavi (pretending to be Lenalee's boyfriend) to Kanda**

He sighed and turned his attention to the second letter.

_Yuu Kanda,_

_Lenalee and I would like to express our discontentment about the fact that there's a 0.3% chance you're lusting after her. __In case you didn't know, she has a boyfriend. ME. And she loves me very much, as she is telling me right now. I'm better-looking and more caring than you'll ever be. I'm 6 feet tall and I have luscious brown curls. I even have a sexy British accent. BEAT THAT. But, as Lenalee, you and I both know, you can't. So keep your little ninja paws off her. _

_I know you probably aren't even interested in girls, but neither I nor my hot girlfriend are willing to ta__ke that chance. I am great friends with Komui Lee. If I see you talking to Lenalee, I will tell Komui and the rest you can figure out. But if you can't, I can give you a hint. Coffee- stained Komurins. Komui's scary huge drill bit. Rooming with Allen with a single bed. Going on every mission for the rest of your life with Tiedoll. No more soba. _

_And can you imagine what Lavi would do when he finds out about your little crush on Allen? You'll NEVER live it down._

_From Lenalee and her sexy boyfriend_

**4.3. Lavi (pretending to be Lenalee's boyfriend) to Allen**

Meanwhile, Allen furrowed his forehead as he read a similar letter.

_Allen Walker,_

_Lenalee and I would like to express our discontentment about the fact that there's a 20% chance you're lusting after her. In case you didn't know, she has a boyfriend. ME. And she loves me very much, as she is telling me right now. I'm better-looking and more caring than you'll ever be. I'm 6 feet tall and I have luscious brown curls. I even have a sexy British accent. Although you do too, let's assume mine's sexier. _

_ I think it'll be best for you if you never talk to Lenalee again. You seem like a nice guy, one that wouldn't chase after a taken girl, especially when you have your own potential love life. Yes, I know about you and Kanda. I'm sure you don't want Lavi to find out. _

_I know you probably aren't even interested in girls, but neither I nor my hot girlfriend are willing to take that chance. I am great friends with Komui Lee. If I see you talking to Lenalee, I will tell Komui and the rest you can figure out. But if you can't, I can give you a hint. Coffee- stained Komurins. Komui's scary huge drill bit. Rooming with Kanda with a single bed. And worst of all, rationed portions of food. I also know about that $200 000 debt Cross Marian still owes and I'm sure you don't want to be chased down for that. _

_From Lenalee and her sexy boyfriend_

At the mention of the almost-forgotten bill, Allen's normally cheerful face turned ashen. He couldn't let that happen, couldn't get dragged into the abyss of his former master's debts, couldn't be chased down by scary bar owners, couldn't be forced into mopping up vomit and alcohol again…Screw his daydreams about Lenalee and her sweet personality and her amazing legs, he has to save his own ass from scary bar owners first. He quickly scribbled a reply.

Lenalee was humming and studying how to perfect her already-pro coffee making skills when a sheet of paper slid under her door. Huh. Maybe that was why some of the guys around here have been lurking around sleeping quarters lately. She slammed her door open, eager to be part of what she assumed was a secret club.

"Owwwww! Oh, *bleep*!" A muffled cry of agony came from between the wall and the door. Lenalee cautiously stuck her head around the door and was shocked to see a sheepish Allen Walker with a huge lump on his head.

"Sorry about your head…Did you give this to me?" Lenalee waved the paper at him.

"Um, on second thought, this is kinda embarrassing. Can I take it back?"

"But I wanna read it!" Lenalee smiled, thinking it was him finally declaring his love for her, or at least an invitation to the circle of correspondence that had formed recently. Because even though she hadn't had a chance to tell Allen yet, she was falling for him. Allen shot away as soon as she unfolded the paper.

"Strange…" The female Exorcist shrugged. She read the letter.

A few minutes later, a confused and hurt Lenalee ran into Komui's office.

"WHAT HAPPENED? DID ONE OF THOSE BAKA MALE EXORCISTS WITH THEIR RAGING HORMONES DARE TO LAY A HAND ON YOU?" Komui yelped, exploding from beneath a mountain of paperwork that almost completely camouflaged his white-clad form, when his little sister buried her red-rimmed eyes into his supervisor trench coat.

"The opposite. Nii-san, Allen wrote me a letter saying how he had no feelings for me whatsoever and doesn't want to talk to me again. And something about blackmailing him with bills." Lenalee sniffled. She didn't mention that if one of the Exorcists had shown an interest in her, she would never tell Komui because he would ruin every chance of her ever having a relationship with one of them. Her Nii-san's coat was familiar, nice and warm with a light scent of coffee and ink.

"I can't imagine why he would ever do such a thing! Lenalee, you're a beautiful girl. You can do so much better than Allen Walker." _Although hopefully you won't, at least not until you're ancient, over my dead body. _He thought to himself. Komui patted her head soothingly. Lenalee couldn't see the evil glint in his eyes or the satisfied smile he had on his face. Lavi had kept his promise, and now Lenalee will never have a boyfriend, she'll always turn to her Nii-san to confide her deepest secrets, and best of all, she'll hopefully die a virgin. Komui grinned evilly.

**Allen says, REVIEW!**

**Lavi says, REVIEW!**

**Komui says, REVIEW!**

**Lenalee says, REVIEW!**

**Kanda says, REVIEW!**

**Just kidding,**** Kanda says "Che." **

**BUT MAJORITY WINS, SO REVIEW!**

**~Frostyshadows~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I do not own ****-Man, although I wish with all my heart I have Tyki Mikk in my closet. Either him, Allen Walker, Yuu Kanda or Lavi. And that's just the D. Gray-Man characters. I can be a creepy girl at times :D**

**I wanted to publish this at the start of spring break, but thanks to some Fanfiction error I couldn't until now. So hope you're still reading~**

Lavi suddenly had the brilliant idea of setting the two lovebirds on a date, or whatever's closest to a date possible when one of the lovebirds happens to be Kanda.

_Dear Moyashi,_

_I'm so sorry I was being hurtful. It's not until you broke up with me that I realized how much you really mean to me. And it's a shame I never got to tell you this before. I was thinking about the restaurant you mentioned in your first letter. Maison de Mer. I think it'll be nice if we get to know each other better over some seafood soba, because so much of our time together has been spent denying our feelings and beating each other up. So, how about Saturday at 6?_

_Love, Kanda_

He then proceeded to write a similar copy for Yuu, but realized that his best frenemy would never agree to a date, because he didn't believe in such romantic things. So Lavi thought up something new.

_Dear Bakanda,_

_ I think we should mark the end of this ridiculous correspondence with a swordfight. It's time we get over any leftover feelings for each other, and the best way to do that is for me to kick your butt in a fight so that your pride will be too hurt for you to ask me out again. There's a yard behind the Maison de Mer. I'll meet you there at 6 on Saturday, bring Mugen. _

_ Allen_

Lavi grinned to himself at the perfect little setup he had going. Allen, sentimental and overly considerate Allen, would never turn down Yuu's date. And Yuu would never back out of a fight against a short little beansprout due to his inflated ego. He bounded down the hall like a rabbit high on chocolate eggs, eagerly stuffing the letters under his friends' doors. Lavi bent low to the ground so he wouldn't be seen through the cat eye recently installed in some of the doors. Actually, only Yuu's door, because of his antisocial Grinch-like personality. So that was how Bookman Junior ended up with his spiky red head in Komui's crotch once again at the end of the hall.

"Hey Lavi!" Komui said cheerfully as the Exorcist extracted his head from between his legs. The supervisor whisked him around the bend into a rarely used corridor, out of sight of the other inhabitants.

"Y-yes?" Lavi faked his own cheerful demeanour to match his supervisor's.

"I think your letters worked wonderfully. Lenalee has decided that both Allen and Kanda are thoughtless bakas that aren't worth her time. So I was thinking we should celebrate this victory by going to the Maison de Mer at 6 on Saturday with Lenalee."

Lavi nearly fainted with horror, "No! I can't!"

"And why not?" Komui's eyes narrowed behind their thick lenses.

"Um, well, Bookman has some assignments for me on that day. He'll kill me if I don't show up." Lavi made up an excuse.

"Would you rather face an angry Bookman or my huge drill bit and defective Komurins that will gladly tear you apart piece by piece when given the order?" Komui asked.

The real question was, would Lavi rather be torn apart piece by piece by Kanda's Mugen and Allen's Crown Clown or Komui's Komurins and drill bits? Agh. Such a difficult decision. Lavi's shoulders sagged in defeat, "Fine. I'll go to the restaurant."

Komui nodded and skipped away. Then he shouted over his shoulder, "By the way, Lenalee thinks the dinner's me cheering her up after Allen rejected her, so don't ruin it. She cannot find out I'm actually celebrating the fact that she will now be a virgin forever…and ever…and ever…"

The supervisor's evil laughter rung in Lavi's ears long after his silhouette disappeared. Lavi groaned and buried his face in his hands. His life was officially over.

** The good thing about Fanfiction's error is that I am now done writing the last chapter. Just have some editing left to do.**

** Reviewers will receive a figurative DGM character of their choice in their closet! I claim no responsibility for the damage they will inflict on your surroundings and people you may care about.**

**To get a figurative Kanda-in-a-closet, REVIEW!**

**To get a figurative Allen-in-a-closet, REVIEW!**

**To get a figurative Lavi-in-a-closet, REVIEW!**

**To get a figurative Tyki-in-a-cloet, REVIEW although you probably won't get it anyway because I'll be hoarding all of them. **

**~Frostyshadows~**


	6. Chapter 6

**Last chapter. Finally. **** Please submit lots and lots of reviews, because I got a disappointing amount for last chapter. If there's anything in this story you want me to change, feel free to tell me.**

Allen got to the restaurant nearly half an hour early, because for once he didn't get lost. The British teenager wore his white shirt, black formal vest and tie. He noted with some disappointment that Bakanda wasn't here yet. Allen decided to order anyway. The waitress's eyes grew bigger with each order he placed until they nearly popped out of her well-coiffed head. It took 15 minutes for him to finish rattling off the very very long list of food.

"Would you like a bigger table? This one's only for two." Her eyes flickered sceptically over his slight form, mentally wondering how in the world she was going to fit 23 mitarashi dangos, a lobster dinner for five, house special turkey sandwich, 12 seasoned chicken kebabs, clam chowder, Caesar salad, salmon in cream sauce, lasagna, curly fries, three large chocolate shakes, fried rice, flame-grilled steak on a table for two.

"Nah. Oh, right, and whatever's the best soba you have here for my date." Allen added as an afterthought.

When the Exorcist looked up as he handed over the menu, he saw Lenalee at the table for 3 or 4 right beside his. He waved, "Lenalee! You're here too? With who?"

The tip of a large drill bit suddenly pierced the skin on the back of his neck, providing the answer.

"Hey Nii-san!" Lenalee smiled sweetly. Komui glared at Allen silently until he shuddered and quickly moved away from his protected sister. It wasn't until then that Allen saw Lavi, his right ear pinched in Komui's hand (the one not holding a huge drill bit) and cowering behind the supervisor. The redhead gave Allen a sheepish grin. Kanda finally appeared outside the glass front door with Mugen raised in his hand, the spitting image of an angry sumo wrestler minus a few hundred pounds and plus a samurai sword, more clothes and a lot more hair. Okay, so maybe not the spitting image.

Allen warily walked outside when it became clear that for some weird reason Kanda wasn't coming in. He barely had time to activate his Innocence when Kanda came at him with the ferocity and demented expression of a raging, possibly rabid, bull. Allen blocked all his attacks, but didn't even try to get on the offensive. Kanda hissed, "Stop. Playing. With. My. Heart."

To both their surprises, Allen burst into tears at the last word. Kanda suddenly felt clumsy and lost. Moyashi kept on a mask of optimism that aggravated Kanda to no avail even through the worst of times. Despite his past ordeals he was always so…happy. Yet Kanda made him cry. He'd never even seen General Cross manage to do that. Kanda knelt sheathed Mugen and knelt down beside him, awkwardly patting Moyashi's skinny, shaking shoulders, "Sorry…I got a letter saying you wanted a swordfight to end everything between us. I don't know, it confused me I guess. I was just so mad that our relationship keeps on going in circles, especially since I never thought I would ever want one to begin with."

"I got a letter saying you wanted a dinner date here." Allen sniffled.

Kanda blinked, "I never wrote that. Sometimes I wish I was enough of a romantic sap to ask you out, but I wasn't."

'Then…" Allen's silver eyes met Kanda's and they shouted at the same time, "LAVI!"

Bookman Junior shot from his seat when he saw Yuu and Allen bursting through the glass doors, consequently shattering certain sections of it.

"BAKA USAGI, YOU ARE IN DEEP *BLEEEEEP*." Kanda screamed as he chased after Lavi into the men's washroom. There he proceeded to slice open all the stall doors from their hinges, disturbing several people's business in the process. (By the way, I don't think there ARE that many stalls in the men's washroom. But being a girl and all, I haven't checked recently). Lavi cowered in the last stall. His desperate hammer-swinging was easily deterred by Allen's Crown Clown. Kanda's evil laughter filled the washroom as he slowly walked towards Lavi…

The waitress shouted outside the door, "Your damage of property gives you a debt of 10000 Euros! I would like to ask you to leave our restaurant."

Those words instantly put a stop to the fight. Allen fell over, Kanda rushed to catch him, Lavi ran off and Kanda tried to catch him again while supporting Allen, who wasn't helping by moaning "Debt" over and over. Lenalee looked questioningly at Komui. Her Nii-san had something to do with this mess, she could tell from the overly-innocent aura he tried to portray. He shrugged and went back to the chicken kebab he snagged off Allen's table.

The following dawn found Moyashi and Bakanda snuggled under Lavi's blankets having their first of many real heart-to heart-conversations (Lavi's room had the second best view of the sun-dappled mountains and they couldn't exactly kick Lenalee out of her room), Lavi tied in a rather uncomfortable position to the ceiling rafters (but again, there isn't exactly a comfortable one) and Komui concocting a scheme to keep Lavi away from Lenalee. Only then will she remain a virgin forever…and ever…and ever…

**This is the end ****–dramatic music–, hope you liked it! **

**Reviewers get a lin****k to a photo of mitarashi dango and my love. It's a great deal :D And maybe the DGM-character-in-closet, although the Tykis are all MINEMINEMINEMINE.**

**~Frostyshadows~**


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